My Year of Magical Thinking

They tell me everyone grieves in her own way.  During my husband’s illness with pancreatic cancer I learned that a friend from graduate school had lost his son Sam to a car accident.  Though it had been many years since we had spoken, my heart sank. I knew that John dearly loved his children as…

Tapestry Holes Never Completely Close

We live, we love, and then our loved ones die. The pain of grief comes and creates a hole in our life’s tapestry. Carole King so aptly sings about life’s journey in “Tapestry,” which begins with: “My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue; An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view. A…

What Widows Wear

My last landlord in Pittsburgh was an Italian woman. My Dad met her and he took notice of her black attire and gold cross. Afterwards he shared that she reminded him of his neighborhood in Brooklyn, which had a large Italian population. He noted “They wore black for a long time after someone died.” At…

Spending a Monthly Windfall

In the mailbox, at the beginning of each month, a payment stub arrives. Representing ~ $45, this windfall has automatically been deposited into my primary checking account. I debate about changing the notification to electronic as it would ease the burden on the environment: harvesting trees to be transformed into paper versus the electric energy…